Bible
Older Testament
Genesis
Ch.
1
1
YAH Sings The Universe Into Existence!
Ch.
2
4
Details Of How YAH Created Adam (Dirt-Man)
8
Description Of The Garden Of Pleasure
15
YAH Puts Adam In The Pleasure Garden
17
YAH Forbids Adam From Knowing Evil
18
YAH Lets Adam Name The Animals
21
YAH Separates Adam, Creating βWombed-Manβ
Ch.
3
1
The Serpent Tricks The Wombed-Man
6
Eve & Adam 'Know' Evil
9
YHVH Busts Adam & Eve
12
Adam & Eve Play The Blame Game
14
YAH Curses The Serpent, Woman & Man
20
Adam & Eve Procreate The Human Race
22
YAH Kicks Mankind Out Of The Pleasure Garden
Ch.
4
1
Eve Births Ken & Able
3
Ken Brings A Cheap Gift To YAH's Sacred Feast
8
Ken (Cain) Murders Able
15
YAH Stamps A 5-Sided Star On Ken's Forehead
17
Ken Creates Worldly Civilization
19
Evil Lamech Institutes Polygamy
25
Adam & Eve Birth Seth To Replace 'Able'
Ch.
5
1
The First Genealogy of Mankind
Ch.
6
1
Women & Angels Spawn Mutant God-Monsters
5
YAH Decides To Wipe Humanity Off The Earth
13
YAH Tells Noah To Build The Ark-Ship
Ch.
7
1
Noah & Family Enter The Ark
11
Rain Floods The Land!
Ch.
8
1
The Flood Begins To Dissipate
15
Noah's Family Leaves The Ark
21
YAH Resolves To Never Annihilate Mankind
Ch.
9
1
Covenant Of The Rainbow
4
YAH Forbids Blood-Eating
8
YAH Promises Noah He'll Never Annihilate Man
18
Noah's Family Repopulates & Plants Earth
21
Noah Gets Naked & Drunk & Ham Watches
28
Noah dies at 950 Years Old
Ch.
10
1
Noah's Sons Birth Your Ancestors
8
Mighty Nimrod Rules Babylon
13
Noah's Sons Spread Their Seed Across Earth
24
Ever (The First Hebrew) Is Born
Ch.
11
1
Some Of Noah's Descendants Gather In Babylon
4
Evil Mankind Builds The Radio Tower of Babel
7
YAH Confuses The Languages Of Mankind
10
Genealogy of Shem
27
Terah Fathers Abraham
30
Abraham's Wife Struggles With Infertility
Ch.
12
1
YAH Orders Abram To Leave His Family Home
10
The King Of Egypt Steals Abraham's Wife
Ch.
13
1
Abram Leaves Egypt, Rich!
6
Abram & Lot Get So Rich They Have To Separate
10
Lot Chooses The Glittery Lights of Sodom
14
YHVH Promises The Earth To Abram's Family
Ch.
14
1
War-Kings Inflame The Middle-East
5
Lord Chedorlaomer's Forces Overpower All Foes
12
The Emperor Captures Abram's Nephew (Lot)
14
Abram's 318 Praise-Warriors Evict Millions!
18
Melchizedek Blesses Abram
21
Abram Refuses To Take Government Benefits
Ch.
15
1
YAH Promises Trillions Of Children To Abram
8
YAH Makes A Dream-Covenant With Abram
Ch.
16
1
Abram's Wife Gets Him To Bed The Maid
6
The Maid Runs From Sarai's Abuse
9
YAH Promises Hagar Billions Of [Muslim] Kids
15
Hagar Slinks Back To Abram's Camp
Ch.
17
1
YAH Reaffirms His Covenant With AbraHam
9
YAH Tells Abraham To βCut Offβ His Sin
15
YAH Promises Elderly Sarah Will Get Pregnant
23
Abraham Performs A Symbolic Sin-Cut Ritual
Ch.
18
1
3 Paranormal 'Men' Visit Abraham
12
Sarah Laughs At The Idea of Pregnancy
17
YAH Warns Abraham He'll Nuke Sodom
Ch.
19
1
The Angels Enter Sodom To Extract Lot
4
Sodom's Perverts Try To Rape The Angel-Men
10
2 Angels Rescue Lot From Sodom's Perverts
24
YAH Nukes Sodom & Gommorah
30
Lot Runs To The Mountain & Beds His Own Kids
36
The Evil-Incest Spawn Birth Two Savage Races
Ch.
20
1
βFather-kingβ Steals Abraham's [Hot] Wife
3
YAH Busts AbiMelech For Wife-Napping
9
AbiMelech Busts Abraham For White-Lying
Ch.
21
1
Supernaturally Youthful Sarah Gets Pregnant
3
Supernaturally Young Sarah Births Isaac
8
Isaac Grows Into Conflict With Ishmael
14
Abraham Boots His Lover & His Son Of Adultery
17
YAH Opens A Desert-Well For Ishmael & Mom
20
Ishmael Thrives & Marries
22
Father-king Makes Peace With Abraham's Clan
Ch.
22
1
A Voice Tells Abraham To Cook His Son!
9
Abe Nearly Knifes & Cooks His Son
15
YAH Blesses Abraham's Irrational Obedience
20
Abraham's Brother Makes A Bunch Of Babies
Ch.
23
1
Abraham's Wife Sarah Dies At 127 Years Of Age
3
Abraham Buys Sarah's Tomb From Terrorists
Ch.
24
1
Abraham Sends Out For Isaac's Hebrew Wife
10
Gorgeous Rebekah Lifts Tons Of Water
22
The Steward Sleeps At Rebeka's Dad's Ranch
37
The Steward Asks Rebekah To Marry Isaac
50
Rebekah Agrees To Marry Isaac
61
Rebekah Rides To Marry Her Cousin
Ch.
25
1
Old Man Abraham Marries A Hot Young Wife
5
Abraham Evicts His Many Children Of Adultery
7
Abraham Dies And Rests Beside Sarah
12
Ishmael Breeds Like A Dog With Many Sluts
19
Isaac & Rebekah Struggle To Make A Baby
21
Rebekah Births Red Hairy Esau & Cheater Jacob
27
Cheater & The Red Man Grow Up Fighting
29
Red Man Trades His Fortune For Cheater's Soup
Ch.
26
1
Isaac Flees A Famine To Live W/ 'Father-king'
7
Father-King Finds Out Isaac Lied About Rebeka
12
YAH Blesses Isaac With Vast Riches
15
The Pagans Ruin Isaac's Water Supply
17
Isaac Abandons His Home Rather Than Fight
20
More Pagan Hordes Steal Isaac's Water Supply
22
Isaac Moves Yet Again Rather Than Fight
24
YAH Blesses Isaac For His Pacifism
32
YAH Blesses Isaac's Peace-Making With Water
34
The Red Man & His Sluts Spawn More Warriors
Ch.
27
1
Jacob & Rebeka Trick Isaac, Robbing Esau
31
The Red Man Vows To Murder The Cheater
42
Jacob Flees For His Life From The Red Man
Ch.
28
1
Jacob Travels To Syria To Find A Wife
6
RedMan Pumps His Lust Into Ishmael's Girls
10
Jacob Sees The Stairway To Heaven
Ch.
29
1
Jacob Falls In Love With Gorgeous Rachel
12
Rachel's Greedy Dad Tricks Jacob Into Slavery
18