Bible ~~- Older Testament

Judges Wrench

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Ch. 1

  • 1 Judah Evicts The Demon-Worshippers From Judea
  • 5 Thugs Cut Off Lightning's Thumbs & Big Toes!
  • 8 Judah's Tribe Occupies Jerusalem & Judea
  • 12 Caleb Gives His Daughter To The Champion
  • 16 Judah Evicts Many Pagans, Then Quits in Fear
  • 21 Other Tribes Get Too Slack To Evict Pagans

    Ch. 2

  • 1 YAH's Angel Busts Israel For Mixing W/ Pagans
  • 6A Flashback To Joshua's Final Address
  • 8 Another account Of JAHshua's Burial
  • 10 The New Generation Forsakes YHVH
  • 14 YAH Allows The Pagans To Pillage Israelis
  • 16 YAH Raises Judge-Leaders To Save Israel
  • 17 The Israelis Ignore The Judges
  • 20 YAH Leaves Pagans In The Land To Test Israel

    Ch. 3

  • 1 Israel Fornicates W/ Deadly Straggler-Pagans
  • 9 YAH Raises Up 'Force-Of-El' To Rescue Israel
  • 12 YAH Sends Moab To Enslave Israel For 18 Years
  • 26Unity Leads Israel To Evict 10000 Warriors

    Ch. 4

  • 1 Israel Again Sins, Falling To The Caananites
  • 4 Prophetess Deborah Leads Mighty Warrior Men
  • 10 General Lightning Fights Evil General Sisera
  • 11 The Cain-ites Betray The Israelis To Sisera
  • 13 Sisera Amasses His Hordes To Murder Israel
  • 15 YHVH Crushes Sisera's Hordes Before Praisers
  • 17 Lady Drives A Tent-Peg Thru A General's Head!

    Ch. 5

  • 1 Deborah & General Lightning's Rap Dance Song

    Ch. 6

  • 1 Israel Falls Into Slavery To The Brawlers
  • 11 The Angel of YAH Appears To Gideon
  • 25 Gideon Tears Down The Altar Of Baal
  • 33 Brawler-Nation's War Coalition Attacks Israel
  • 36 Gideon Gets A Sign From A Wet Sheepskin

    Ch. 7

  • 1 Gideon Leads Israel Against Brawler-Nations

    Ch. 8

  • 1 Gideon's Wise, Humble Words Stop A Fight
  • 4 Tent Town & Penuel Refuse To Help Gideon
  • 10 Gideon's 300 Praise-Men Evict 15000 Warriors
  • 13 Gideon Exacts Revenge on Selfish Food-Deniers
  • 18 Gideon Kills Kings Slaughter & Cold-Heart
  • 22 Gideon Refuses To Become King Of Israel
  • 24 Gideon Makes A Big Sculpture Of Gold Plunder
  • 29 Gideon Makes Many Babies With Tons Of Women
  • 32 Gideon Dies; Israel's Brats Sink To Idolatry

    Ch. 9

  • 1 Gideon's Evil Son, 'Father-King', Grabs Power
  • 5 Gideon's Son 'Father-King' Kills His 70 Bro's
  • 7JAHtham Screams A Parable Of Political Trees
  • 22 The Neck-Men Rebel Against Evil 'Father-King'
  • 30 Father-King's Governor Betrays Gaal's Rebels
  • 40 Father-King Massacres The Neck-City Rebels
  • 50 A Woman Drops A Rock On Father-King's Head

    Ch. 10

  • 1Tola [Red-Wiggler] Leads Israel For 23 years
  • 6 Israel Falls Back Into Sin & Slavery 18 Years
  • 10 Brats Of Israel Whine, But YAH Ignores Them
  • 16 The Israelites Actively Repent

    Ch. 11

  • 1 Whore-Spawn Jephthah's Half-Bro's Disown Him
  • 3 Jephthah Turns Into A Notorious Criminal Boss
  • 5Israelis Slink Back To Beg Jephthah To Fight
  • 11 Jephthah Gets Crowned Commander-In-Chief
  • 12 Jephthah Tries Reason With The Inbred Enemy
  • 30 Mr. Wide-Open Opens His Mouth Too Wide
  • 32 Jephthah Evicts The Inbred Ammonites
  • 34 Jephthah Consigns His Daughter To The Nunnery

    Ch. 12

  • 1 Wide-Open's Blab-Mouth Enrages The Fruits
  • 4 Civil War Breaks Out: Double-Fruits vs Gilead
  • 7Wide-Open Bigmouth Dies; Leaders Replace Him

    Ch. 13

  • 1 Israel Falls Into Slavery To The Palestinians
  • 3 YAH's Angel Visits Samson's Infertile Mom-To-Be
  • 9 The Angel Again Visits Samson's Mom-To-Be
  • 15 In Fire, YAH's Angel Rises From Samson's Dad
  • 24 Samson [SunRay] Is Born & Grows Up Strong

    Ch. 14

  • 1 SunRay Disobeys His Parents; Lusts For A Slut
  • 5 Visiting His Slut, SunRay Rips Apart A Lion
  • 8 SunRay Eats Honey From The Dead Lion's Carcass
  • 10 SunRay Throws A Big Pagan Wedding Feast
  • 12 SunRay Bets The Pagans Can't Solve His Riddle
  • 15 Pagans Force Samson's Wife To Rob The Answer
  • 19 SunRay Goes On A Murder Rampage

    Ch. 15

  • 1 Samson's Dad-In-Law Gives Samson's Wife Away
  • 4 Samson Lights Jackals On Fire, Burns Crops
  • 6 The Philistines Burn Samson's Wife!
  • 8 Samson Massacres The Philistines In Revenge
  • 9 Philistines Attack Judah In Boomerang Revenge
  • 12The Jews Hand Samson To The Philistines
  • 14 Samson Murders 1000 Palestinians W/ A Jawbone
  • 18 YAH Opens A Water-Spring For Samson To Drink
  • 20 Samson Leads Israel For 20 War-plagued Years

    Ch. 16

  • 1 Samson Sleeps With A Whore In Gaza
  • 4 SunRay Falls In Lust With Delilah The Succubus
  • 6 Delilah Fails 3x To Extract SunRay's Secret
  • 15 Delilah Wears Samson Down & Steals His Secret
  • 19 Delilah Drugs SunRay, Shaves & Tortures Him
  • 23 Pagans Parade Samson In Their Fish-God Temple
  • 29 SunRay Dies Destroying The Demon-God's Temple

    Ch. 17

  • 1 Micah Returns A Fortune He Stole From His Mom
  • 2 Idolatry Comes To Israel Though Micah's Mom
  • 4 Micah's Mom Forges A Giant Silver Idol-God
  • 7 Micah Hires A Priest For His Temple Business

    Ch. 18

  • 1 The Evil Tribe Of Dan Hunts For Land To Steal
  • 3 Micah's False Priest Blesses Dan's Kill-Spies
  • 7 Spies Plan To Attack Pacifist Separatist Farm
  • 11 The Danite Murder-Troop Rides Out
  • 14 Murderers Raid The Shrine & Co-opt The Priest
  • 22 Micah Fails To Arrest The Murder-Militia
  • 27 Danites Massacre The Pacifist Farm-Dwellers

    Ch. 19

  • 1 A Priest Shacks Up With A Cheating Whore
  • 3 Priest Chases Down Whore At Her Dad's House
  • 5 Whore's Dad Won't Let Priest & Whore Leave
  • 10 Finally Priest Escapes From His Whore's Dad
  • 14 Priest & His Whore Ride To The Flower-Hills
  • 21 Benjamite Perverts Rape & Kill Priest's Whore
  • 29 The Priest Cuts Up Whore's Body, Mails Pieces

    Ch. 20

  • 1 Israel Plans Civil War Vs. FlowerHills Perv's
  • 11 Leaders of Gibeah Refuse To Surrender Rapists
  • 15 Israeli Armies Face Off In A Civil War
  • 21 Benjamites Slaughter 22000 Fellow Israelis
  • 23 Benjamites Slaughter Another 18000 Israelis!
  • 29 Israel Massacres 100000+ Benjamite Relatives

    Ch. 21

  • 1 Israelis Hunt Wives For Surviving Benjamites
  • 5 Israelis Murder Innocents To Steal Virgins
  • 19 Benjamites Steal Dancing Girls As Slave-Wives