Bible ~~- Older Testament ~~- 2nd Kings ~~- chapter 6 of 25 (33 verses.)

2nd Kings 6Wrench

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Elisha's Prophets Make Jordan River Monastery
1 One day the prophet-men say to EliShua {El's-Salvation}, “Look. The place where we live with you is too small for us.
2 —So please, let's move to [the] Jordan [river valley]. Each of us men [will] haul a [roof] beam. Let's make a [monastery] there where we can live.” [ELishua] answers, “Y'all go.”
3 But one [of the prophets] says, “Please, [don't abandon us]. Yield. Come with [us]. [We’re] your loyalists.” So [EliShua] answers, “OK, I'll go.”
4 So [EliShua] travels with the [prophets' caravan]. Finally they arrive in [the] Jordan [river valley]. There they chop down trees [to make building lumber].
Elisha Miraculously Floats an Ax-Head
5 One [of the prophets raises his axe] to chop a tree. The axe head flies off into the river. [The axe-man] wails, “Oh no!” He [begs EliShua], “Master, [help]! [I] borrowed that axe-head! [And I don't have the money to pay to replace it!]
Thou shalt not borrow.
6 So [EliShua] the man of Elohim asks, “Where did [the ax-head] fall?” The [chopper] points [ELishua] to the [middle of the river]. Then [EliShua] cuts down a stick. He throws it into the [river]. Suddenly the iron floats [to the surface]!
Not one concern of ours is small if we belong to him. To show us this, the Lord of all, once made iron swim!
7 So [EliShua] says, “Pick it up.” The [chopper] reaches out his hand. He grabs [the floating ax-head], 😇!
ELiShua Ruins Syria's War-Maneuvers
8 Soon Syria's king [marches his army] to war against Israel. He counsels with his advisors to choose [secret] place[s] to [pitch his] war-camp[s].
9 So [EliShua] (the man of Elohim) sends [his helper] to Israel’s king [JAHoram], warning, “Watch out. Don't approach [such and such secret location], because the Syrian [hordes] invaded [and camped there].”
10 So the king of Israel sends [his spies] to the places the man of Elohim warns him [to avoid]. This saves [the Israeli king's life] again and again.
11 So the heart of Syria's king gets panic-stricken over [his failed war-plans]. So he summons his servants. He asks them, “Can [none] of you [worthless advisors] expose the [spy working] for the king of Israel?”
12 A servant of [Syria's king] says, “There's no [spy here,] my lord, O king. EliShua {El's-Salvation}, the prophet in Israel, tells Israel's king the words you speak in your bedchamber!”
Mental telepathy in the bible.
13 So [Syria's king growls], “Go spy out [EliShua's] location. I'll send [soldiers to arrest] him [and drag him here].’ A [watchman] says, “I [recently] saw [EliShua] in Dothan.”
14 So [the Syrian Emperor] sends horses and chariots and a huge army [80km southwest to capture EliShua]. They approach the [north Israeli] city [of Dothan] by night. They completely surround it.
Angels Save ELiShua From Syria's Army
15 [The next morning, EliShua] (the man of Elohim) gets up early. He walks outside. He sees the [Syrian] army surrounding [Dothan] city with horses and chariots! [EliShua's] servant [whines] to him, “Oh no, my master! How will we [get out of this]?!”
16 [EliShua] answers, “Never fear. There are more [angels fighting] for us than there are [demons fighting for our enemies].”
17 Then EliShua prays, saying, “YHVH, please, open [my helper's] eyes, so he can see.” So YHVH opens the [spiritual] eyes of the young man. Wide-eyed, he sees the mountain full of [angelic] horses and chariots of fire surrounding EliShua!
EliShua Strikes The Syrian Army Blind
18 Then the [Syrian army] charges down to [kill EliShua]! So EliShua prays to YHVH, “Please strike these [soldiers temporarily] blind.” So [YHVH] honors EliShua's request. He strikes the [Syrian army] with blindness, 😇!
19 Then EliShua [sends a telepathic message] to the [Syrian General], “This isn't the road [you're looking for]! The city isn't here! Follow me. I'll take you to the man you seek.” Then [EliShua] leads the [blind army 12 miles south across north Israel] to Samaria!
Presumably speaking with a supernaturally loud voice, or with telepathy.
20 [The sightless Syrian army] enters Samaria {Sanctuary}. EliShua prays, “YHVH, open the eyes of these [soldiers], so they can see.” So YHVH opens their eyes. They see, drop-jawed, they're in the middle of Samaria!
EliShua Teaches The King To Feed His Enemies
21 The king of Israel sees the [Syrian army]. He begs EliShua, “Father, [will you let] me strike the [Syrians]? Can I kill them?”
22 [ELiSHua] answers, “Don't strike them. Would you strike [prisoners] you've taken captive with your sword and bow? [No!] Set food and water before [your enemies], so they can eat and drink, and [gain strength to] return to their master.”
23 So the [king of Israel] prepares a great [feast] for [the Syrian army]. They eat and drink. Then [the king of Israel] sends the [Syrians home]. They return to their sovereign. After that, the [raiding] bands of [Highland] Syria stop invading the land of Israel.
Throw a feast for your enemy. He might stop bothering you. It’s worth a try.
Syria's Embargo Makes Israelis Eat Their Kids
24 Eventually Syria's king dies. Then his successor (Ben-Hadad {Son-Of-Ferocity}) musters his army. He marches uphill [southwest ~100km into north Israel]. He besieges [its capitol city,] Samaria.
25 The siege produces a deadly famine in Samaria. The [starvation grows] so horrific that a donkey's head sells for 80 pieces of silver. And 1/2 pint of pigeon poop [sells] for 5 pieces of silver!
People are eating donkeys' heads and bird poop to survive. Famine like that is coming to a city near you. It is possible that the “poop” was actually a small salad.
26 [One day] the king of Israel walks [his] rounds on the [fortress] wall. [He eyes the horde of Syrian attackers below.] A woman cries to him, begging, “Help, my lord, O king.”
27 The king [groans], “If YHVH doesn't help you, from where [am I going to get] help [for] you? Out of [Israel's empty] threshing-floors? Out of [our nation's empty] wine-presses?”
Government has no money of its own. Every penny it gives out, it has to take from someone who produces.
28 Then the king asks her, “What's your dilemma?” She answers, “A woman said to me, ‘Give [up] your son, so we can eat him today. Then we'll eat my son tomorrow.’
29 So we boiled my son. We ate him. Then, the next day, I said to her, ‘Surrender your son, so we can eat him.’ But she hid her son!”
30 As the king hears the words of this [starving] woman, he rips his clothes. [Screaming in desperation,] he [staggers] further down the wall. The people look [up]. [Slack-jawed,] they see the [king], his skin covered in sackcloth.
Israel's Evil King Attempts To Murder ELiShua
31 Then [Israel's king] says, “[I pray that] Elohim [feeds my body to the peasants,] and worse, if the head of EliShua {El's-Salvation} the son of Shaphat {Judge} stands on his neck tonight!”
A bad government kills the only people who can save their nation from disaster. Witness the American Civil War, the Pogroms of Russia, the Protestants and Catholics murdering the Amish, etc.
32 The king sends out his [assassin]. Meanwhile, EliShua {El's-Salvation} sits in his sanctuary. The elders sit with him. Before the [killer] arrives at [the sanctuary], [Elishua] says to the elders, “Do you see how this son of a murderer sent [an assassin] to rip off my head? Look. When the [assassin] comes, shut the door. Keep him locked [outside] the door. [I hear] the sound of his sovereign's feet chasing him!”
33 While [EliShua] talks with the [elders, he hears] the [king (behind the assassin) storming] down to [the sanctuary, screaming], “Look! This evil [famine] came from YHVH. So why should I wait any longer for YHVH [to save us]? [I'm gonna kill YAH's prophet. Then maybe another god will provide us food!]
Illogical. Likewise, the bigwigs running today's world system (heads of state, global bankers, etc.) are insane. When we earthlings stop sinning, the Creator blesses us. Yet mad leaders invent suicidal schemes (surveillance networks, massive wars, etc. in vain hopes of saving us all.)
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