1 Later, one Sabbath day, Yahshua[walks] into the house of one of the chief [holy pretenders], 😇. They [invite Yahshua in on pretense of a communal] meal. But in actuality, they're spying [on] him.
2 Right before Yahshua there [lies] a [sick] man. His [arm & leg joints and whole] body bulge, swollen with fluid.
3*Yahshua challenges the lawyers and Pharisees by asking, “Is it lawful to heal on the Sabbath day?”
4 The lawyers and Pharisees [wisely] keep their [lying] lips shut, 😇. Yahshua[grabs] the [swollen] man, heals him, then lets him go.
5*Yahshua[scolds] the Pharisees & lawyers, saying, “Which of you, if your son or your ox falls into a well, hesitates to haul the [animal] out on [the] Sabbath?”
6 The [phony] Pharisees and [liar] lawyers can't answer Yahshua. [He's too smart to get trapped in their petty religious trickery, 😇.]
Put Yourself In The Humblest Low Position
7Yahshua notices how the [invited] guests choose the best seats at the table for themselves, 😇. So Yahshua makes the [religionists the butt of the following juicy eye-popping] allegory:
8*“Say [a host] invites you to a wedding feast, 😇. Never take the highest seat [of honor]. The [host] may invite someone [he] honors higher than you.
9*—So the host who invited both of you comes to you. He says, ‘ 😇, give this seat to this [honorable man]!’ So you crouch. [You] waddle down in shame to the worst [broken] seat. [You hide your eyes from the other guests' laughter.] Beside the smelly trash can and the nauseating poop-stench wafting out of the bathroom.
10*So when you get invited [anywhere, 😇], go sit down in the lowest place. Then when [your] host who invited you comes, he can say to you, ‘Friend, go up higher!’ Then you gain honor in the presence of everyone who sits eating with you.
11*For [YAH] smacks down anyone who exalts himself, 😇. [Conversely, YAH] exalts anyone who humbles himself.”
12*Then Yahshua tells the [phony] Pharisee who invited him [to eat,]“When you give a lunch or a dinner [banquet], don't call your friends, your brothers, your relatives or your rich neighbors. They may well invite you [to their feasts] in return. Then you'll receive [mere carnal human] repayment. YAH instituted Hebrew feasts for the benefit of poor people.
13*Rather, when you make a feast, 😇, call poor, maimed, lame and blind [people].
14*THEN [YAH] blesses you, 😇. Poor & handicapped [people] can't pay you back. So, at the resurrection of the righteous, [YAH] pays you back [more than the whole world can ever offer you].” But don't expect humans to give you help or encouragement in return for your good deeds. Humans reward you for buying your way into rich bigots' power-cliques. Humans shun you for helping paupers.
YAH Is Calling You To His Kingdom Feast!
15 One of the [men] sitting at dinner with Yahshua hears [Yahshua command the reversal of their society's selfish, caste-restricted customs, 😇]. So the man says to Yahshua, “Blessed are the [people] who eat [at heaven's feast] in the Kingdom of [YHVH] the Eloah.”
16Yahshua answers [with another mind-movie]: “A man prepares a great feast, 😇. [He] invites many [guests].
17*[The Man] sends his servant at supper time to say to the invited [guests], ‘Come! Everything is ready!’
18*The [guests] respond with a chorus of excuses, 😇. The first [guest] says to the [host's] servant, “I just bought a piece of [real estate]. So I have to go inspect [my land]. Please excuse me.” Why would you, a disciple, buy real estate? Christ already ordered you to sell your possessions!
19*Another [guest] says, “I’ve just bought five teams of oxen. I’m on my way to test them out. Please accept my apologies.” Accumulating farms is a favorite habit of ‘back-to-the-landers’ who consider themselves Bible believers. But maintaining their farm ends up being their excuse to ignore YAH's Kingdom.
20*Another [guest] answers, ‘I've married a wife. So I can't come.’ Wives and their feathered nests are common roadblocks for men who would otherwise be able to serve in YAH's Kingdom. Weak men trade eternal life for worthless temporary sex.
21*So the [master's] servant returns [to the banquet]. He shows his Lord [the Host] the [list of invitees' excuses]. Then [the] furious [Host,] the Master of the house, [yells] to his servant, “Quickly go out into the streets and alleys of the city! Bring in here [every] poor, maimed, crippled and blind [sufferer you find].”
22[Before long] the slave [returns to the banquet hall]. He reports, ‘Master, [I brought in all society's outcasts]. But there's still room [here for more celebrants].’
23The lord says to his servant, “Go out into the highways and the hedges, 😇. Get people to come here. I want my palace full!
24*For I tell you, 😇, that none of the [guests] who [I initially] invited gets even the smallest taste of the [infinite eternal] banquet [I prepared for them].” Most religious folks die in judgement day's lake of fire.
To Be Christ's Disciple, Give Up All You Have
25Yahshua turns to the large crowds who travel with him. [He] decrees:
26*“ 😇, anyone who comes to me must ‘hate*’ his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brothers, and sisters, and yes, his own life, or he can't be my disciple. *‘Hate’ in this sense means to turn your back to your unbelieving family and your own lazy, sin-addicted body. You perform acts of radical obedience (to Christ). Your family naturally fails to support or understand that true Christianty compels you to go to jail and sell your house and quit your job. So they reasonably feel that you hate them. Obeying Yahshua means, in part, leaving home, abstaining from normal sexual relations, taking your children out of public school, making them stop saying the pledge of allegiance, refusing to use normal means of payment (the mark of the beast) and on and on. If you follow Yahshua, your bio-family will reasonably conclude that you're crazy.
27*And, 😇, whoever fails to [pick up and carry] his impaling stake, and follow me [to torture and death], can't be my disciple.
28*For, 😇, which of you, when he wants to build a tower, fails to first sit down and calculate the cost to see if he has enough [resources] to complete [the project]?
29If you only get your foundation laid and then run out of money, [you look foolish, 😇]. Everyone passing by, seeing your [botched project], pokes fun at you:
30They laugh, ‘There's the [fool] who began construction he couldn’t finish!’
31*Or suppose a king is about to go to war against another king, 😇. Will he not first sit down and consider whether he is able with 10000 men to oppose the [army] coming against him with 20000?
32*[Suppose, 😇, that the besieged king calculates that he can't beat the invading king's army.] Then while the [invading] king is still a long way away, the [diligent] king sends an ambassador. He asks for terms of peace.
33*In the same way, 😇,” concludes Yahshua, “none of you can be my disciple unless you give up everything you have. You have to forsake EVERYTHING you have to get into the starting gate of being Yahshua's student. Yahshua has very, very few real disciples. So whose disciples are all those people in church? Someone else's disciples. Maybe Satan's? Stand up in a church and tell everyone sitting there that they are not Christ's disciples, because they have lots of personal possessions. See how long before ushers escort your scripture-quoting mouth to the door.
Don't Be Flavorless Salt: Be Flavorful!
34*Salt is valuable, 😇. But most salt loses its flavor. With what can you revive [flat, dead, tasteless] salt? [Nothing!]
35* 😇, dead salt is fit neither for the soil, nor for the manure [fertilizer] pile. People [just] throw it out. 'Got ears? Then listen and understand.” Dead salt is symbol for people who lose their spiritual fervor and never get it back. Specifically, this verse declares that Aaron's [real or counterfeit] descendants have breached the Mosaic law and thus lost their conditional priesthood. All unrepentant sinners die, forever extinguished in the lake of fire, even if they were once ‘the salt of the earth‘.
Newer Testament 
*Yahshua challenges the lawyers and Pharisees by asking,