Shoot 'Em, Bury 'Em, Don't Tell a Soul

I killed a man in a poker fight
Went to see my lawyer to set it right
He said, "This town's the unsolved murder capital of the world"
He said "The Judge leans down and whispers to me,
'If the C.I.A. does it, why can't we?
So don't clog up my docket roll
Just shoot em, bury em, and don't tell a soul'"

Shoot 'Em,
Bury 'Em,
Shhh!
Don't Tell a Soul

So I shot that lawyer and I put him in my trunk
Buried him deep where I bury dead skunks
Took his cash and spent it on a whore
And she woke me up; said, "Boy you snore
And you talked in your sleep til quarter to 4,
About killin' your buddy by the county store"
So I clobbered her head with a piece of wood
'Didn't feel bad- the judge said I could
Carried her out, her and her pimp
I shot 'em, buried 'em, and zipped my lip

Shoot 'Em, Bury 'Em, shhh! Don't Tell a Soul

Well my conscience got to bothern' me
So I went to see the old Catholic priest
The Priest said the truth would set me free
But the law said he had to tell on me
This Priest said heaven was a better place
And 'to die was gain, and he had great faith
So I knew if HE died it'd all work out
So I shot him, buried him, and shut my mouth

Shoot 'Em, Bury 'Em, shhh! Don't Tell a Soul

So son that's how I ended up here
A fat old man cryin' in my beer
And I'd hate to see you fall like me
Just tell the truth; it'll set you free
Violence ain't the way to go
Turn the other cheek; it'll save your soul
Love your enemies, and have your fun
And hey junior put down that gun!

Shoot 'Em, Bury 'Em, Don't Tell a Soul

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Troy Joy's Comedy Hits