Fallin' Down Drunk On Christmas Eve

[Parody Of Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree]

Fallin' down drunk on Christmas Eve
It's a soggy holiday
Nukin' my family memories
In the new old-fashioned way

Daddy knocked down our Christmas tree
All blotto'd-out on schnapps
He punched Grandma; broke her teeth
So the neighbors called the cops

You may get a sentimental feelin' every year
But my family snapshot
Is my Daddy's naked rear
In that cop car

Daddy peed in our T.V.
As the christmas spirits passed
He O.D.'d on LSD
And then trashed the ambulance

Daddy showed his privates to
The Girl-Scout troop next door
So Daddy spent my childhood on [‘Pops’ rang in the near-year]
on the jailhouse drunk-tank floor

You may feel some sentimental fuzzies if you're queer {‘Queer Fuzzies’}
But that school called me the Christmas pervert's kid for 13 years
But I got them … he-he-hee…

So I'm

Fallin' down drunk on Christmas Eve
On my soggy holiday
I'm wiping' clean my memory
In the new old fashioned way

Fallin' down drunk on Christmas Eve

See Study notes on Fallin' Down Drunk On Christmas Eve

FROM

Funny Christmas Songs