Funny Christmas Songs

Gay Ride (Parody Of Sleigh Ride)

Author: Parody
Theme: Homosexuality & Transvestitism
We're goin' on a sleigh/gay ride
All together, all together, all together
Let's go. Get in!

HOMO: C'mon, office buddy! Time to kick up your heels!
HETERO: My fiancee's supposed to pick me up in ---- WHOOOAAAA!

Just hear those gay-bells ring-a-ling,
Ting-ting-tin-gl-ing too (HETERO: That tickles!)
C'mon it's lovely weather for a gay ride together with you (HETERO: What?)

Outside the snow is falling; Queer friends are calling yoo hoo (HETERO: Queer?)
C'mon it's lovely weather for a gay ride together with you (HETERO: Stop this sleigh, guys!)

Yeah we know that you say that you're hetero (HETERO: I am!)
We see through your scam (HETERO: It's not a scam!)
You're dying for a piece of homo ham (HETERO: Gross!)
Saddle up, Saddle up, Pony up, ho ho! (HETERO: No!)
You're missing the show! (HETERO: I like girls!)
We'll start by massaging your toes & who knows where we might go? (HETERO: Leave my shoes on!)

Our โ€œCheeksโ€ are nice and rosy and comfy cozy are we (HETERO: Pants up, guys!)
We're snuggled up together
Like birds of a feather would be (HETERO: I'm not snuggling!)

Let's take that road before us and sing a chorus or two (HETERO: Singing's OK)
C'mon it's lovely weather for a gay ride together with you

HETERO: I agreed to a sleigh ride; not a 'Gay-ride.'
HOMO: Relax sugar-hips/buns/lips.

There's a Christmas/birthday party at the home of Doctor Gay (HETERO: Uh...)
It'll be the perfect ending of a perfect day (HETERO: Not for me!)
We'll be dinging the boys we love to ding
Without a single stop (HETERO: STOP!)
At [the] fireplace while we watch the poppers pop!
Pop! Pop! POP!

Such a happy feeling nothing in the world could buy (HETERO: aagh!)
As we cuddle with your biceps and your luscious thighs (HETERO: Why?)
Then we'll just flip you over and you'll get a big surprise! (HETERO: Aaagh!)
These wonderful/fabulous nights are the nights we remember all through our lives

Music break
HETERO: You've misunderstood my kindness
HOMO: Oh come on, don't you think we can hear it in your voice?
HETERO: I guess I've always sounded a bit delicate, but...
HOMO: That's my Disney princess!

Giddyap giddyap giddy it's grand (HETERO: Mommy!)
Just holding your hand (HETERO: Hold HIS hand!)
As we hum along sing a song of a wintery FAIRY land (HETERO: Aaagh!)

Verse 1A and B

HETERO: Stop; don't touch me
HOMO: What? It's no big deal
HETERO: That's really rude
HOMO: You're such a prude
HETERO: That's enough! Let me off this SLEEEEEIIIIGH!!
SOUND: psssscccchhhheeeeeeerrr! THUD!
HOMO: { beep beep beep } 911, we need a helicopter. My boyfriend fell off a cliff!
See Study notes on Gay Ride (Parody Of Sleigh Ride)

FROM Funny Christmas Songs