Funny Christmas Songs

Jesus Christ Is Coming To Kill (Parody of Santa Claus Is Coming To Town)

Author: Parody
Theme: End Times Disasters
You better watch out
Or you're gonna' fry
You better not pout
Or you're gonna' die / I'm tellin' you why / Kiss your butt good-bye
Jesus Christ is coming to KILL!

He's making a list
Of what's in your mind
All of the sins that you fantasize / think you hide
Jesus Christ is coming to KILL ... (YOU!)

He sees where you've been sleeping
He knows the pills you take / you fornicate
He knows that you've been bad not good
So be good before you bake

You better not cuss
You better not fuss
You better start goin' to church with us
'cause
Jesus Christ is coming to KILL

The dogs and hogs and buzzards
Will have a jubilee
Eating sinner's corpses
And drinking blood for free

So, you better not hump
You better not pump
The baby grew up and he's no chump
Jesus Christ is coming to KILL ... YOU!

With the roar of his horn
The thunder of drums
Rooty toot toot and a rummy tum tum
Jesus Christ is coming to kill

Chopping off heads and slashing out guts
Blowin' up towns and cuttin' off nuts
Jesus Christ is coming to kill

I know what you think
โ€œHe'll never kill me
Cause I go to church and watch Christian TVโ€
[WRONG!] Jesus Christ is coming to kill you too

Get your head together
You closet hypocrite
Your religion is a whitewashed tomb
and Your soul is full of {plomp plump plump (pizzicato strings)}

See Study notes on Jesus Christ Is Coming To Kill (Parody of Santa Claus Is Coming To Town)


FROM Funny Christmas Songs