I'll Sell You To Science (When You Die) — A Love Song

INTO SKIT:
MELINDA: Bill, honey-
BILL: What?!
MELINDA: You told the President we'd jab the health care workers first-
BILLL: SO?!
MELINDA: We need the health workers alive...
BILL: Why?
MELINDA: To sell our products.
BILL: Good point.
MELINDA: Let's vax the blacks first.
BIL: Like we did in Africa?
MELINDA: And India.
BILL: Brilliant. But one special tighey-whitey comes first.
MELINDA: Why YOU??
BILL: Not me, YOU, dear!
MELINDA: No! Get those microneedles away from me!!
BILL: You were my first, so I'll vax you first!
MELINDA: I wasn't your first!
BILL: touche!
MELINDA: That dreck hasn't been tested on humans!
BILL: Not 'til now...
MELINDA: It's full of aborted babies!
BILL: SO?!
MELINDA: and pus-sy monkey brains!
BILL: he he he
MELINDA: It'll turn me into a robot!
BILL: IF YOU SURVIVE!

I'm gonna sell you
to science when you're dead
Your every bone is precious
Especially your head

Your trek to glory
Is transitory
Our true love story
Continues in the laboratory

No mere donation—
You're worth compensation
Too hot for cremation
Your bod will benefit the nations

Under glass
They’ll probe your... mass
When I peddle you to science
when you pass

VERSE 2 (In Eb):

White coats
Will analyze your eyes
Scientists will ply your thighs
On your demise

Go buy the farm, babe
Death'll do no harm
Biotech
Will replicate your charms

Egg-heads in spec's will
Check out your chest
Obsessed they’ll quest
To test why your flesh beats the rest

My throbbing heart:
You’re God’s work of art
So I’ll pawn you to Big Pharma
When we part

When you croak, you choke
You go up in smoke
When you’re toast
When you give up the ghost

VERSE 3 (in E):

Smile as
you cross the great divide
Knowing you’re immortalized
In formaldehyde

Rest in pieces
As our net-worth increases
Oh sweet release!
We’ll be rich when you’re deceased

No cold gravestone
You won’t leave me alone
I’ll grow clones from your bones
To repopulate our happy home

Funerals are dread
We'll celebrate instead
When I market you to med schools
when you're dead

Don’t fear the reaper, babe
You’ll live on and on
When I hock you for dollars
When you’re gone
I cannot lie!
Hurry up, be ‘late’
I can hardly wait
To sell you to science
when you die!

Optional tag: Kick the bucket now - get my free vaccine!

CHORDS:
D
D
D Dmaj7
A

e-
b-
E/G#
A/C#

a-
c-
eb-
F7

G g-/Bb
F#- B/d#
e- A7
D/F# B7

See Study notes on I'll Sell You To Science (When You Die) — A Love Song

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