Screenplay
55 CHAPTERS FROM
The Baby-Making War
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2 sisters fight for their cheating husband's love in a baby-spawning race: a down & dirty winner-take-all cat-fight that births the 12 tribes of Israel. The story of Rachel, Leah, & Jacob, full of jealousy, sin, murder & true love.
CHAPTERS
Published Min.
PRELIMINARY
1
Cast Of Characters
ACT 1
scene
cum.
2
Isaac Marries Rebekah
0.8
0.8
3
Isaac & Rebekah Try But Fail To Make Babies
1.3
2.1
4
Baby Jacob Pops Out, Holding Red-Baby's heel
0.9
3
5
Harry & Cheater Grow Up At Odds
1.1
4.1
6
Jacob Buys Red-Man's Inheritance For Soup
1.7
5.8
7
Isaac Grows Old, Famine Rages, Esau takes Slut wives
3.5
9.3
8
Jacob & Rebekah Embezzle Esau's Inheritance
6
15.3
9
Jacob Risks his Life By Staying Near Esau
1.7
17
10
Jacob Runs For Life, Escaping Red-Man's Rage
1.5
18.5
11
Jacob Sees The Stairway To Heaven
2.7
21.2
12
Jacob Sees His True Love Rachel, Kisses Her
2.4
23.6
ACT 2
23.7/21.75
13
Jacob Negotiates Bethrothal to Rachel
1.5
25.1
14
Jacob Works 7 Years To Marry Rachel
1.2
26.3
15
Laban Knocks Out & Hides The Drunk Rachel
1.1
27.4
16
Jacob, Drunk, Boinks Leah Instead Of Rachel
0.8
28.2
17
Jacob Wakes Up Hung-Over, Sees Leah, screams
1.4
29.6
18
Jacob Marries Rachel
0.8
30.4
19
Jacob Finally Makes Love To Rachel
0.6
31
20
Jacob Works For Laban another 7 years
0.4
31.4
21
Leah prays and YAH opens her womb so she conceives
1.4
32.8
22
Leah Conceives And Births 4 Sons To Jacob
2.1
34.9
23
Rachel Gets Jacob To Screw Her Timid Handmaid
2.4
37.3
24
Jacob Boinks Leah's Slave-Girl (Zilpah)
0.7
38
25
Jacob Screws Leah's Slave-Girl Again
0.6
38.6
26
Leah Buys Jacob's Stud-Rights For Mandrakes
2.5
41.1
27
Leah Births Dinah; Jacob & Rachel Keep Kissing
0.7
41.8
28
Rachel Births Super-Cute Baby Joseph
1.1
42.9
29
Jacob Asks Laban To Let Him Leave
1.9
44.8
MIDPOINT
44.8/43.5
30
Jacob Tricks Laban, Selectively Breeding Goats
1.9
46.7
31
Laban's Family Gets Murderously Enraged
0.5
47.2
32
YAH Orders Jacob To Return Home To Isaac
0.6
47.8
33
Jacob Talks Rachel & Leah Into Running Away
3
50.8
34
Rachel Steals Laban's Idols
0.3
51.1
35
Jacob's Caravans Toward Isaac's Far Land
1.1
52.2
36
Laban & His Armed Thugs Hotly Chase Jacob
1
53.2
37
Whitey (Laban) Overtakes & Confronts Jacob
1.9
55.1
38
Laban Searches Rachel's Tent; She Tricks Him
1.4
56.5
39
Laban and Jacob Make A Pact of Peace
4.4
60.9
40
Whitey (Laban) Rides His Camel For Syria
0.4
61.3
41
Angels Fly Past Jacob. Everyone Says He's Nuts
0.9
62.2
ACT 3
62.2/65.25
42
Jacob Sends Flocks As A Peace-Gift To Esau
4
66.2
43
Jacob Sends His Family & Stuff Across A River
0.4
66.6
44
Jacob Wrestles A Supernatural Being All Night
2.9
69.5
45
Esau, With 400 soldiers, Intercepts Jacob
3.5
73
46
Jacob And Esau The Red-Man Part In Peace
0.4
73.4
47
Jacob & Leah & Rachel Journey To Neck Ridge
0.9
74.3
48
Prince Shechem 'Rapes' Dinah
1.2
75.5
49
Levi & Simeon Con Neck Men Into Getting Cut
2.5
78
50
Simeon & Levi Trick-Circumcise & Massacre Men
2.7
80.7
51
Israel's 11 Sons Massacre Neck-Ridge's People
3.1
83.8
52
Jacob Flees Under Supernatural Guard To Bethel
2.8
86.6
53
Yah Appears To Jacob, Blesses Him
1.6
88.2
54
Rachel Dies Birthing Benjamin; Tribe Bury Her
1.7
89.9
55
Jacob & Leah & Family Ride Into The Sunset
0.5
90.4
90.4/87
