Screenplay
89 CHAPTERS FROM
Absalom
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">Title Analysis
The world's most gorgeous prince murders his rapist-brother as step #1 in stealing the Empire from their father, the giant-slayer (King David).
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CHAPTERS
Published Min.
PRELIMINARY
1
Audio Drama
ACT 1
scene
cum.
2
⭐️⭐️⭐️
Absalom Builds His Phallic Obelisk
2.4
2.4
3
⭐️⭐️⭐️
Absalom Beats Amnon For Eyeing Their Sister
4.8
7.2
4
Absalom Sees TallPalm Run To Amnon's House
1.8
9
5
TallPalm Bakes Get-Well Cakes For Amnon
1.2
10.2
6
⭐️⭐️⭐️
Absalom Fails To Stop His Sister's Rape
0.4
10.6
7
Absalom Comforts TallPalm
3.4
14
8
Absalom Reports The Rape; King David Jails Him
2.4
16.4
9
Solomon Breaks Absalom Out of Jail
1.9
18.3
10
Absalom Reunites With TallPalm
1.6
19.9
11
Absalom Plots His Revenge-Kill For 2 Years
3.3
23.2
12
Absalom Prepares The Murder Site
0.9
24.1
13
Absalom Invites His Brothers To A ‘Party’
0.2
24.3
14
Absalom Gets David's Money For The 'Party'
1.6
25.9
15
All The Kings Sons Travel To The Party
0.4
26.3
16
Absalom Whispers The Murder Instructions
0.4
26.7
17
⭐️⭐️⭐️
Absalom's Servants Murder Amnon
1.2
27.9
ACT 2
28/25
18
The Princes Flee The Murder Scene
0.5
28.4
19
King David Mourns Amnon's Death
1.4
29.8
20
General Joab Sees King David Cry Over Absalom
0.1
29.9
21
Absalom Flees Into Hiding
0.3
30.2
22
Absalom Passes 3 Years In Exile
0.6
30.8
23
General Joab & Absalom Hire An Actress
0.8
31.6
24
Chaka Gets King David To Repatriate Absalom
4.4
36
25
General Joab Returns Absalom To Jerusalem
0.4
36.4
26
King David Refuses To See Absalom
0.4
36.8
27
Absalom Mopes To His House
0.2
37
28
Jerusalem Adores Absalom
0.5
37.5
29
Absalom's Wife Births His First Son
0.2
37.7
30
Absalom The Flawless Lover Beds Lotsa Ladies
1
38.7
31
Absalom's Wives Birth His 2nd & 3rd Sons
0.6
39.3
32
Two Years Of 5-Pound Haircuts Pass
1.6
40.9
33
Absalom's Wife Births His 1st Girl, TallPalm
0.7
41.6
34
General Joab Refuses To Meet With Absalom
0.6
42.2
35
General Joab Again Refuses To Meet Absalom
1.2
43.4
36
Absalom Sets General Joab's Crop Field Afire
1.4
44.8
37
General Joab Confronts Absalom
1.3
46.1
38
General Joab Takes Absalom To King David
1.5
47.6
39
Absalom Amasses His Own Royal Guard
0.4
48
40
Absalom Sets Up His Own Rival Judicial System
2.9
50.9
MIDPOINT
50.8/50
41
Absalom Asks King To Let Him Go To Hebron
0.8
51.7
42
Absalom Gallops To Hebron
0.3
52
43
Absalom Sends Out His Spies
0.6
52.6
44
Absalom Throws His Hebron Coronation Feast
0.5
53.1
45
Absalom Snags King David's Chief Counselor
0.3
53.4
46
Absalom's Conspiracy Multiplies
0.4
53.8
47
King David Finds Out Absalom Has Taken Power
1.2
55
48
King David & His Loyalists Flee Jerusalem
3.6
58.6
49
King David Assembles His Troops
1.3
59.9
50
Ziba / Mephibosheth Trick King David
0.6
60.5
51
Mr. Famous Throws Rocks At King David
2
62.5
52
Absalom Invades Jerusalem
0.1
62.6
53
Absalom Takes The Throne
0.2
62.8
54
Hasty, King David's Spy, Fakes Allegiance
0.8
63.6
55
Smear-Brother Advises Absalom To Sin
0.9
64.5
56
Absalom Beds His Dad's 10 Concubines
1.2
65.7
57
Smear-Brother Smartly Plots To Kill King David
1
66.7
ACT 3
66.5/75
58
Hasty Foils Smear's Assassination Plot
4.1
70.8
59
Smear Hangs Himself
0.4
71.2
60
Hasty Sends Spy-Priests To Warn King David
2.3
73.5
61
King David & Friends Cross The Jordan River
0.2
73.7
62
King David & His Famished Loyalists Camp
0.1
73.8
63
Absalom's Hordes Cross The Jordan River
0.3
74.1
64
David's Ex-Enemies Bring Him Food Supplies
0.5
74.6
65
Absalom's Hordes Advance Toward King David
0.1
74.7
66
King David Organizes his Loyal Fighters
1.7
76.4
67
King David's Men Kill 20000 Rebels
1.3
77.7
68
Absalom Gets His Pretty Hair Caught In A Tree
0.6
78.3
69
Solomon Tells General Joab: Absalom's Caught
1
79.3
70
General Joab Assassinates Absalom
1.6
80.9
71
General Joab Ceases The Fighting
0.3
81.2
72
General Joab's Men Bury Absalom
0.6
81.8
73
Young Priest Begs To Run To Tell King David
1.1
82.9
74
Young Priest AhiMaaz Runs To King David
0.1
83
75
Runners Tell King David His Son Absalom Died
2
85
76
King David Weeps Over Absalom
0.5
85.5
77
General Joab Shames David Into Courage
2.1
87.6
78
King David Regroups His Kingdom
1.2
88.8
79
King David Hugs IronHeart & Crosses The River
0.6
89.4
80
King David Forgives Famous Shimei
0.9
90.3
81
Northern Israel Rebels Against King David
1.2
91.5
82
Sheba Incites North Israel To Rebel vs. David
1.5
93
83
David Turns His 10 Concubines Into Celibates
1
94
84
King David Mounts Judah's Counter-Rebellion
1.1
95.1
85
General Joab Murders His Rival General Amasa
2
97.1
86
General Joab Cuts Off Sheba's Head
2.6
99.7
87
Old King David Gives The Throne To Solomon
3.2
102.9
EPILOGUE
102.9/99
88
Postlude
0.6
103.5
APPENDICES
103.5/100
89
Absalom Rap Song (Like Eminem's Lose Yourself)
103.5/100