Dad Invades Panama
Old copy. Email for current version.
He disappeared a lot; my Mom would just wake up and go, hey, where's my husband?
Helicopter Dad couldn't tell us what he was doing, it was very secret.
One time he and his friends blew up Haiti, where we're going now to try to help the people.
But this time, we turned on the TV to see if any country had just blown up, and yep, Helicopter Dad was blowing up Panama.
The Hassler Boss of America wanted to take back the Panama Canal, where all the big ships go to get from Hawaii over here to us in the Caribbean Sea. But first they had to capture the Hassler Boss of Panama.
BOY: Did they get him?
DAD: Yeah, Helicopter Dad and his soldiers put him in jail in Miami.
And they got control of the canal back,
They said it was the biggest military operation since VietNam, and thousands of men, women and children were killed.
That was very sad.
But we had to go to the wedding.
We were sad because helicopter Dad was far away, and he would miss the wedding, and maybe never come back.
Anyway, we went in the truck and it was way below freezing, so cold you couldn't stay outside or you would die.
And our truck broke down, and it was Christmas Eve in big snow and no one was on the road.
Then we just started praying and shivering, and knock knock, a man knocked on the window.
We opened our eyes and saw him.
he was driving the same kind of truck as us, and he knew just how to fix our car.
He wouldn't take any money, and he just drove off.
So we got to the beautiful wedding and Helicopter Dad showed up just in time.
He didn't get killed in Panama after all.
And he said soon there was going to be another big evil war, in Iraq, because the Hassler Boss of Iraq didn't want to use American fake paper money for Iraq's oil anymore.
Helicopter Dad didn't want to kill people over money, so he quit killing people and started flying rescue helicopters to save peoples lives again.
And we didn't want to kill people either, so we went back to Music City and started making music, fighting spiritual war.
