Screenplay ~~- Princess Grizzly

Singer SongMan Sings 'Would You Marry Me?'

2732 Characters =~2.7Min. Reading Time

INSIDE THE THRONE ROOM IN THE DAYTIME:

THE NEXT MORNING:

Chocolate-faced Princess Fria slumps asleep on her throne, surrounded by empty chocolate boxes.
She startles to the sound of SCUFFLING and ARGUING coming from a nearby hallway.
She sees King Victim push clean shaven, bald-headed, skinny, guitar-carrying SINGER SONGMAN into the throne-room.

Singer SongMan's feet slide involuntarily across the gilded marble floor.

Princess Fria laughs at the hilarious sight.

Princess Fria's mocking eyes scan nicks and cuts all over Singer SongMan's face, head, hands. (He looks like he's been shaved by cat-claws.)

KING VICTIM
(To Singer SongMan)
Congratulations. Take Fria to your farm. She'll live as you live.

SINGER SONGMAN
(effeminate)
Uh… No offense, sire. Singers can't afford wives.

KING VICTIM
She'll learn to work humbly, like the peons she would have ruled.

SINGER SONGMAN
She doesn't look strong enough to work my farm. Thank you, though.

Singer SongMan turns to leave.
King Victim jumps in front of Singer SongMan, shoves his signet ring in Singer's face.

KING VICTIM
I'll give you my signet ring.

Singer SongMan, stunned by the expensive, glittering ring, immediately whips his guitar into position. He begins singing Princess Fria a SONG: ‘Would You Marry Me?’:

SINGER SONGMAN
Would You Marry Me?
One little "yes" would carry me
on air balloons up to the moon
With you within my room…
Would you marry me?


Courtesans laugh at Singer's awful voice.

Princess Fria chunks her hard black dress-shoe at Singer SongMan's face!
Singer holds up the guitar to shield his face.
{ BANG! } The shoe smashes his guitar. { TWANGGGG! }

PRINCESS FRIA
(screams)
NO! I won't marry you, tone-deaf shrimp!

SINGER SONGMAN
My dead father's guitar! Aaggh!

KING VICTIM
YES! She will marry you.

PRINCESS FRIA
I would never marry that vomitous little bald street minstrel!

KING VICTIM
I swore an oath on my kingdom that you would marry the next suitor. And an oath can never be broken. -
(to General Terrorr)
- Summon Bishop Buckstrap! Fria weds tonight!

Captain Stabb and Major MadMun carry Princess Fria kicking from the throne-room as she screams:

PRINCESS FRIA
(being carried)
NeVER______!!