Screenplay ~~- Flame (The Witch Who Stole Jesus)

Flame Fights To Tend Bethlehem's Ill

5491 Characters =~5.5Min. Reading Time
INSIDE THE SYNAGOGUE IN THE DAYTIME:

Flame and Torturanus haul Bellie to Rudy The Red Nosed Rabbi who stands operating on Little Strawberry's head.

RED NOSED RABBI
I can't heal that hussy!

Torturanus punches out the Rabbi, drops Bellie on her head.

TORTURANUS
Oops.

FLAME
I'll fix Bellie!

Flame grabs the scalpel. Flame's eyes FIRE.

LITTLE STRAWBERRY
(Gasp!)
Witch Doctor!

Little Strawberry scrambles off the table, hides under the pulpit.
Torturanus and Flame lift Bellie onto the operating table.

BROWNBRAT
(outside)
Women doctoring is sorcering!

Flame cleans Bellie's face wound.

Brats outside rush Romanux who blocks the doorway.

BRATS
(chant)
Girls are for rockin', not for doc-torin!

Romanux pushes the brats away from the door.

FLAME
I'm a doctor, not a baby factory!

Flame cuts back the damaged skin on Bellie's face.

Brats outside break open a window, struggle to CLIMB into the clinic.

FATBRAT
Moses said only men can be priests!

Torturanus CLUBS the Brats' heads. { Boom Boom BOOM! } They fall back out the window.

WhiteBrat rushes in through a back door.

WHITEBRAT
Flame's violating the Sabbath Day!

Torturanus grabs the lectern. Out runs Little Strawberry.

BUZZI (Unseen voice)
(outside)
Flamerrrr!

Torturanus swings the lectern, BASHES WhiteBrat.

FLAME
(bandages Bellie)
It's lawful to bash brats on the Sabbath!

Outside, Buzzi runs up to Romanux at the Synagogue door.

BUZZI
Come back to bed, Flamer!

Bellie wakes up, flashes jealous eyes at Flame's Wedding ring.

FLAME
Hurry, Bellie! Romanux will protect you.

ELDER SQUADDY
(outside)
Do your wifely duty, Flame!

FLAME
(Behind Romanux)
It's MY body!

Bellie crawl-scrambles toward the back door.
Buzzi runs up the front door.

BUZZI
Let the priest do his male job!

ROMANUX
(pokes Buzzi's eyes)
Women are free and equal subjects of Caesar!

Flame POUNDS on Romanux' back.

FLAME
Stop blinding my husband!

BUZZI
(Rushes Romanux)
I pee on your Caesar!

ROMANUX
Peon this!

Outside, Romanux WHACKS Buzzi up the crotch with his battle-ax.

Buzzi collapses at Romanux' feet.

BLACKBEEF (Unseen voice)
Romans just castrated Bethlehem's star shepherd!

Flame reaches between Romanux' legs, out the doorway, for Buzzi.

FLAME
Buzzi!

BELLIE
(outside)
Buzband!

Outside, Bellie struggles through stampeding feet, hugs Buzzi.

Flame's hand reaches through Romanux's legs, touches Buzzi.

Romanux punches BlackBeef to the ground. Flame's hand pins under BlackBeef's body.

Flame looks up at the fray outside, sees Mayor Flavus KornHole MUNCH a steak-roll.

MAYOR FLAVUS KORNHOLE
(yells past Romanux)
Outta' the clinic, vixen!

The Brats outside rush up, knock Mayor Flavus KornHole into Romanux.

BRATS
Women are for feelin', not for healin'!

Mayor Flavus KornHole SPILLS past Romanux onto the synagogue floor, chokes, convulses.

(Outside) BlackBeef and Bellie struggle to their knees, drag Buzzi down the street toward the hut.

(Inside) Flame lifts Mayor Flavus KornHole from behind, SQUEEZES her arms around his beer-gut, punches his sternum.

FLAME
Blow!

FATBRAT BUSTS through the bathroom window.

BRATS
(chant)
Girls are for wed-din', not for medicine!

Mayor Flavus KornHole blows steak out his mouth, collapses.

Torturanus grabs FatBrat, SHOVES his head into the toilet. FatBrat struggles, goes LIMP. Flame WRESTLES FatBrat away from Torturanus.

FLAME
Excessive force, Torturanus!

TORTURANUS
Oops!

Sister Ida Stickitt crawls into the clinic between Romanux' legs. Romanux CLINCHES Ida between his thighs. She SQUIRMS like a trapped cockroach.

Flame gives mouth-to-mouth resuscitation to the drowned FatBrat.

Flame sees Sister Ida Stickitt bite Romanux' leg. { AAGH! }

FatBrat blows water from his mouth, GASPS, smiles, opens his eyes, sees Flame, frowns, SPITS in Flame's face.

FATBRAT
AAgh! A witch stole my first kiss!

Ida WADDLES to Flame, yanks Flame by the hair from FatBrat.

SISTER IDA STICKITT
Submit unto thy husband-master, you strumpet!

Flame JERKS her hair back from Ida's grip. Ida spins, loses grip, falls on her lard-buns. { POP! } Her water breaks, FLOODS the floor.

Townspeople rush Romanux at the front door.

FatBrat jumps on Romanux's back, CLAWS his eyes.

Romanux spins FatBrat off his back. Torturanus runs to Romanux's back. Romanux sprints out of the doorway, HOISTS his battle-ax. BrownBrat, WhiteBrat, Elder Squaddy, Shep Rawbone & BlackBeef cower before Romanux.

TORTURANUS
(at door, to Flame)
Girls can't watch boom-boom!

Torturanus slams the front door.

Inside, Flame pushes (her thumbs and two fore-fingers) above Ida's pelvic bone, then pushes at the top of the womb, near Ida's sternum.
Flame sweats, scared-faced.
She ROTATES the baby (from butt-down (breech) position to head-down.)
Flame LISTENS to the abdomen using a fetoscope, gives Ida a thumbs-up. Ida lies comatose.
Flame BACKHANDS Ida across the face.

FLAME
Wake up, Stickitt!

Sister Ida Stickitt's eyes FLY open. She pushes.

Out POPS Baby Squaddy into Flame's hands.
Flame's eyes well with tears.

FLAME
He's... squaddyful.

Flame hands Baby Squaddy to teary-eyed Ida. Ida grabs baby Squaddy.

SISTER IDA STICKITT
Don't touch my little Squaddy, you demon-spawn!

Flame FUMES, CRIES, spins away from Sister Ida Stickitt.

Spattered in blood and goop, Flame BUSTS open the synagogue door.