JockRock's Original Synopsis
In this story,
Jackie Panz (me dog)
fights Hank Honey (rabid dog)
for Happiness & Success (bone).
--------( C O N C E R N )
Music business hopeful Jackie Panz flies from Podunkville, USA, to L.A. to take an unpaid internship at Hank Honey Sports Management.
Hank Jokes about Jackie's name (Panz). He says it sounds like a pervert or a loser.
He pawns his girl athletes (Cheeria, Krikit, LaCrosse, Petanque) off on Jackie.
The girls complain that Hank used to love them but he's thrown them away like old leftovers.
Eager to succeed, Jackie gives Hank the idea to merge his under-appreciated female athletes into a girl-supergroup: GymGirls.
The girls love the idea.
At a rehearsal hall, the GymGirls perform a song for Hank and Jackie.
The GymGirls show promise. Hank is delighted.
To show his appreciation to Jackie, Hank slides his hand over to hold Jackie's hand.
Jackie slaps Hank.
The shocked GymGirls stop their song.
Jackie threatens to sic her lawyer father on Hank in a sexual harassment lawsuit.
Hank storms from the rehearsal hall, humiliated and furious.
Jackie assumes Hank will fire her.
So Jackie begs the GymGirls to come with her to start her own company.
The GymGirls say they want to leave with Jackie, because they're sick of Hank ignoring their careers. But they tell Jackie that she needs more than just GymGirls; she needs to real moneymaking stars. And that means: men.
--------H O P E
Jackie dodges around the halls of the company, avoiding Hank, assuming he'll fire her.
Jackie engages in a sabotage campaign against Hank.
One by one, she flirts with, and allures 4 of Hank's underdog male athletes: Killa (Defensive tackle), BackWoods (baseball pitcher), Swish (ace hoopster), and Peleador Amoroso (Soccer virtuoso).
Hank figures out that Jackie is trying to steal his clients.
So Hank fires Jackie.
But Jackie takes the 4 disgruntled athletes with her.
They bankroll her new management company, renaming it "Pants Management", with the slogan "Put Pants On Your Jock."
The new name and logo are hits.
The 4 athletes rent Jackie a house to work out of in Santa Monica.
Jackie takes the 4 athletes to spy on Hank's girl group (GymGirls) performing at a Los Angeles showcase.
Jealous over the GymGirl's crowd-rocking show, Jackie pitches the idea to her 4 athletes that they form a male supergroup.
The 4 men fight over who will be the lead singer.
The men stomp off, swearing to never work with Jackie as long as she works with Killa.
Killa', the football player, goes to work to learn to write songs, and to sing and play.
--------F E A R
At an L.A. showcase, Killa unveils his song "Touchdown" by dragging Jackie out onstage to sing it to her for the first time.
Jackie runs from the stage in tears, laughed off by the crowd who see the Killa's song as a joke.
Killa runs from the showcase, furious at Jackie, yelling at her in the street.
Jackie responds that the song is "musical abuse", that she and she and Killa will go to jail if she releases "Rapedown" to the public.
Killa fires Jackie, goes back to Hank.
Hank turns "Touchdown" into a hit.
So Jackie taps BackWoods, her baseball player, to write a more delicate, "Christian", culturally acceptable song.
So BackWoods jets to Nashville to team up with his old music minister.
But when BackWoods comes back to L.A., he brings an equally offensive song: "HomeRun."
Jackie complains that the song is just a redneck ripoff of "Touchdown."
Infuriated, BackWoods fires Jackie.
BackWoods runs back to Hank, hat in hand.
Hank pairs "HomeRun" with "Touchdown" as twin international hits.
Hank trades Killa and BackWoods to top-rated teams. They sign mega-million dollar deals.
--------S C O R E
Jackie turns to her basketball prodigy, a talented, charming kid: Swish Drubble.
Swish writes a catchy, relatively clean song, "Swish."
Swish pays out of his own credit card to make a music video, dancing on a basketball court with LaCrosse, one of the GymGirls whom Hank graciously allows to appear in the video.
Jackie runs Swish and its music video up the charts by tweeting the story of Hank "sexually harassing her" and "stealing her clients."
Swish's newfound fame, and the now-famous rivalry of the sports/music stars and their agents, attracts a moneymaking deal for Swish.
Finally Jackie pays her back rent.
In a champagne splurge-spree, Jackie sends Swish off on his mega-concert tour.
--------P A I N
But Swish can't handle the inrush of money.
He gets addicted to drugs.
His tour falls apart.
He loses his big Basketball contract.
Jackie falls back into hock. She loses the house.
--------P O W E R
Jackie turns to her lone client, the statuesque latino, Peleador Amoroso.
He writes a comparatively heroic love song for Jackie, "Goal."
He sings it to her.
Then he tries to kiss her.
She slaps him.
But she flies the song up the Latin music charts.
She books Peleador a tour to capitalize on the song's fame.
But they run out of money.
Peleador argues with Jackie that she needs to buy him tickets on a reliable airline.
Instead she flies him on cheap-seat Barato Airlines to do his triumphant first concert to a sold-out crowd in Buenos Aires, Argentina.
--------D I S A S T E R!
But the crowd is devastated when the projector-screen shows the video of Peleador's plane crashing into the ocean.
Jackie goes to Hank, crying, begging for help for Peleador.
She takes Hank to see Peleador, who struggles for life in intensive care.
Hank tells Jackie that's she's getting exactly what she deserves, that the universe, or God, or whatever, pays you back what you dish out.
Hank explains that he really did love Jackie, but that she slapped him and branded him as a pervert, just for reaching out to touch her hand. Then she stole his clients. She threatened to get her lawyer Dad to put him in jail.
Jackie explains that she has no father, that her parents were killed before she came to L.A. And that her vocal music professor exploited her grief by groping her. That's why she slapped Hank. That's why she can't accept love from men. And that's why she doesn't sing anymore.
--------T R I U M P H!
Hank offers Jackie her job back, with generous pay, and an equal share in his company. He will handle the sports stars, and she will handle the music business.
Jackie and Hank hold hands backstage at the showcase where perform Killa, BackWoods and Swish, now known as JOCKROCK. Onto the stage jump the GymGirls.
They help JockRock rock the house.
Cheeria dances with Killa.
Krikit dances with BackWoods.
LaCrosse dances with Swish.
The 4th GymGirl (Petanque) dances alone.
From backstage, Peleador rolls onto the stage.
Petanque takes Peleador's hand.
He stands to his feet, wobbling.
Petanque's hands steady him.
As the song nears its triumphant climax, the 4 GymGirls kiss the 4 JockRockers.
They beckon Jackie to come out on stage and sing.
So Jackie sings, beautifully.
The crowd cheers.
The sports stars and Jackie beckon Hank out onto the stage.
There, as the crowd goes wild, Jackie finally kisses Hank for the first time.