Screenplay ~~- JockRock

Jackie & The Jocks Spy On The GymGirls' Show

Jealousy 7260 Characters =~7.3Min. Reading Time
EXT. SHOWCASE HALL - NIGHT

Jackie leads sunglass-clad Killa, BackWoods, Swish and Peleador from their unimpressive car.

They creep to avoid paparazzi in the parking lot.


INT. SHOWCASE HALL - NIGHT

Jackie, Killa, BackWoods, Swish and Peleador peep their heads over the crowd to see the stage:

LACROSSE
(on stage)
If y'all 'been watchin' "TayVay", y'all be knowin' our fiancees ditched us and our super-manager, Hank Honey, to run with some gold-diggin' ex-intern from nowhere.

CROWD
Boo!

GYMGIRLS
(mocking)
Jackie PANNZ!

HARRY HECKLER
Jack MY pants!

CROWD
(crescendo)
Jack the pants. Jack the PANTS! JACK THE PANTS!

A series of photoshopped parody pictures of Jackie, Killa, BackWoods, Swish and Peleador disgrace their nicknames:

CHEERIA
Well Jack-Pants, KillFish -

KRIKIT
- BuckTooth -

LACROSSE
- Swoosh-head -

PETANQUE
- POOleador -

CHEERIA
- you forgot something:

LACROSSE
The name of the game of love is:

GYMGIRLS
TEAM SPIRIT!

The jumbo screen behind the band shows a celebratory picture of Hank & Jackie, Killa & Cheeria, Swish & LaCrosse, BackWoods & Krikit, Peleador & Petanque, all holding hands at a victory celebration.

On stage, Dave Drummer happy-thwacks the opening beat to the SONG: TEAM SPIRIT. Audio at: http://GenieMusic.com/?s=2063

The GymGirls' stomping feet match the thundering drumbeats.

LACROSSE
Interference!

Onscreen: Killa pushes a running back down as the running back tries to catch a ball.

KRIKIT
Offsides!

Onscreen: Swish alone on the wrong side of the court.

PETANQUE
Fumble-

Onscreen: Killa fumbles a football.

CHEERIA
Stree-rike!

Onscreen: BackWoods strikes out.

LACROSSE
Error-

Onscreen: an ump flags Peleador.

PETANQUE
Blooper-

Onscreen: Swish and another player run into each other.

CHEERIA
Penalty-

Onscreen: BackWoods yells at an umpire.

KRIKIT
Screwball-

Onscreen: Swish makes a goofy face.

GYMGIRLS
That's your life!

Onscreen: Jackie with her finger apparently up her nose.

KRIKIT
Sinker
Stinker
Spitball


Onscreen images flash: Killa, Swish, BackWoods with an ump yelling at him.

LACROSSE
Walkin'
Balkin'
Bad call


Onscreen images flash: Peleador limps; BackWoods balks while pitching; an exasperated Jackie makes a phone call.

PETANQUE
Flea-flicker

Onscreen: Peleador whiffs a soccer ball, crashes on his butt.

CHEERIA
Punt Bunter

Onscreen: BackWoods bats an abortive bunt.

GYMGIRLS
Split!

The girls' hands rip photos of Killa, BackWoods, Swish & Peleador.

The GymGirls join at center stage, singing together, while the jumbo screen focuses on the dominant singer of each line:

GYMGIRLS
(hands joined)
We had Team Spirit

CHEERIA
(fist to chest)
We had loyalty

PETANQUE
(fist in air)
We had esprit de corps

LACROSSE
(thrash hand)
'til you forfeited me

CHEERIA
We had game

LACROSSE
(hits gut)
We had guts

KRIKIT
(grabs near crotch)
We had love by the NUTS!

GYMGIRLS
(united)
'Til you stripped team spirit from us

The crowd cheers.

Swish, BackWoods, Peleador and Jackie gulp.

Even Killa gulps.

CHEERIA
Double-dribble!

Onscreen: Swish caught double-dribbling.

KRIKIT
Air-ball!

Onscreen: Killa misses a football pass.

PETANQUE
Travelin'

Onscreen: Jackie leads the 4 athletes away from Hank Honey Management.

LACROSSE
(finger-gun to head)
Suicide Play!

PETANQUE
Switch hitter

CHEERIA
(flails arm)
Wild-pitch

LACROSSE
(pulls Krikit from Petanque)
Interception

KRIKIT
(finger to nose)
Pickoff

PETANQUE
Sacrifice

LACROSSE
(fists punch)
Battery

GYMGIRLS
(throw yellow flags)
FOUL!

GYMGIRLS
We had Team Spirit

CHEERIA
(hugs)
We were family

GYMGIRLS
(hands over hearts)
You pledged allegiance

KRIKIT
("no" finger motion)
Then you no-showed on me

LACROSSE
(kick)
You kicked me off

KRIKIT
(stuffing motion)
You stuffed my shot

CHEERIA
(rueful hand to heart)
When I gave you All I got

PETANQUE
(tender, sad)
You stripped team spirit from me

The music softens into a dramatic soliloquy:

Onscreen: an image of Swish.

LACROSSE
(to audience)
Boy, I was your designated hitter.

Onscreen: an image of BackWoods.

KRIKIT
(smile, extends arm)
You were my long reliever.

The audience chuckles at the double entendre.

Onscreen: an image of Peleador.

PETANQUE
But you put me out.

Onscreen: an image of Killa.

CHEERIA
You gave my heart the grand slam

Dave Drummer smacks the drums, indicating the slam.

CHEERIA
You pitched me that:

KRIKIT
(two-fingers)
Split-fingered fastball

PETANQUE
(hand-twist)
The changeup

CHEERIA
(throws hands back)
The brushback

LACROSSE
(deeply hurt)
You shattered my trust

The girls join hands, then stride forward as if mounting a counter-attack:

GYMGIRLS
YOU STRIPPED . SPIRIT . FROM . US!!

Dave Drummer rolls his cymbals to close the song.

The united GymGirls bow their heads.

The audience cheer as one: the men hyped-up, the women moved to tears.

LACROSSE
Thank you.

The crowd won't stop cheering. This song obviously triggers feelings of abandonment that haunt their broken hearts.

The GymGirls' wet eyes show they feel the same pain & anger.

Krikit signals the crowd to hush so she can speak:

KRIKIT
Now that "intern" is tryin' to band our jocks into a music supergroup:

CROWD
Boo!

LACROSSE
Wanna know what it's called?

CROWD
Yeah!

GYMGIRLS
(sarcastic)
JockRock!

The crowd busts up laughing.

CHEERIA
More like JockRash!

The crowd's in tears of glee.

HARRY HECKLER
Crotchrot!

KRIKIT
(faking pleasure)
Oh, Killa, scratch me one more time!

LACROSSE
(faking pleasure)
Swish, baby: Swish me some mo' o' yo' JockRash!

People in the crowd grab their bellies, laughing.

The camera spots Jackie, Killa, BackWoods, Swish and Peleador.

Jackie and the 4 athletes scramble for the door.

CHEERIA
Look! There's JackPants & the JockRots!

PETANQUE
Spying on us!

KRIKIT
Tryin' ta' steal our audience, Notch-Blotch?

The camera shows Jackie leads Killa, BackWoods, Swish and Peleador in a bolt for the exit.

The crowd laughs themselves wet-pantsed.


EXT. SHOWCASE HALL - NIGHT

Jackie and her 4 aghast athletes race past camera-flashes, running to their car.

Ridicule from the audience echoes in Jackie's ears.