At A Showcase, Killa Sings Jackie 'Touchdown'
INSIDE THE SHOWCASE HALL AT NIGHT:
From the wings of the stage, Jackie stands watching L.A. musicians begin playing a pop ballad (Touchdown).
Jackie smiles at the song's comic resemblance to "I Believe I Can Fly."
She sees Hank thumbs-up her from the back of the audience.
Shunning Hank, Jackie turns her face to the stage... Who's that drummer?
Jackie sees that it's Dave Drummer, the guy she barfed on in the plane.
Even under the stage-lights, Dave can see Jackie turn bright red as she recalls her in-flight humiliation.
KILLA
(to screen)
Hi Granny.
Jackie's eyes bulge, seeing a live video-link of her GrandMother appear on the big screen!
KILLA
(bows to audience)
Y'all seen the news reports about me and Jackie Pants breakin' up.
The crowd hoots in support.
KILLA
I' been trying to write a clean song that Jackie's Grandmother would thumbs-up.
Killa looks at Jackie.
From the wings of the stage, Jackie shoots a cheery thumbs-up to Killa.
KILLA
But all I can think about is sackin' my MVP.
Jackie looks stunned. "Me?"
KILLA
So I figured it out, Grandma.
CROWD
Woo!
KILLA
It ain't dirty - if you're married.
CROWD
Woohoo!
KILLA
So this song is my clumsy way of asking my head cheerleader to marry me here tonight, here, in front of you, my people.
Killa thumps his chest, points to the crowd.
They gasp, then cheer.
Especially the ladies.
Killa reaches his hand to Jackie.
She shrinks back.
Killa runs to the side of the stage, grabs Jackie, carries her back into the spotlight with him.
KILLA
(sings)
I'm gonna' score a touchdown on you tonight
Jackie rolls her eyes, hangs her head in amused resignation. "Not again."
KILLA
(sings)
Gonna' blitz you and make you like it
Jackie jumps out of Killa's arms, stares at GrandMother.
Hank Honey joins the crowd in a laugh.
The spotlight focuses on Killa.
KILLA
'Gonna push you back to 1st and goal
Jackie stifles a grin.
KILLA
Then I'll run the ball in and spike it
Killa storms the stage, then pumps his fist in victory.
The crowd busts up laughing.
BACKWOODS
(with audience hooligans)
Woohoo!
KILLA
(hands block)
You can block me all ya' wanna-
KILLA
(to Jackie)
But this jock was born to rock ya'
Jackie aghast.
KILLA
(to Jackie)
I'm gonna' score a touch down on you tonight
GYMGIRLS
(dancing)
Touch-down!
KILLA
I'm gonna' score a touch down___
On you tonight
The crowd hollers in joy.
KILLA
I'm gonna tackle you girl-
Killa advances on Jackie.
KILLA
I'll knock you out-
Jackie backs up in shock.
KILLA
'gonna drop-kick through your goalposts-
The crowd's busting up laughing. But Hank Honey points Killa toward Cheeria.
So Killa gives up on Jackie. He moves to Cheeria, who's enjoying the satire.
KILLA
Gonna drag you back to my locker room-
Killa playfully grabs Cheeria by the hair. She plays along.
KILLA
And shower you with soap on a rope-
As Killa sings the 2nd chorus, the crowd laughs so loud that Jackie can't even hear Killa singing.
Hank Honey tries to get through the crowd to console Jackie. Hank gets stuck in between laughing hecklers.
Jackie loses focus, sounds blurring.
She sees only ridiculing faces in the crowd, pointing at her.
She runs from the stage in terror.
